Monday, September 7, 2009

Surreal


We sit at the kitchen table and read the paper.....
I read.....
Paul tries..........
I watch...
he really tries for hours to read.
This morning he looked across the table and shrugged...I knew.
I knew he can't make out the words.
I  cried.  
I don't know exactly why I cried.
Is it the fact that I'm pissed..."why Paul?...he loved to read and he read and read and read...why not some idiot that doesn't even bother reading?" 
Do I cry because of the effort he puts into trying to read?  I'm serious he tries for hours every day.

He reads football stats...newspapers...charts....TV Guides.  
You name it, he still tries. 

I still can't believe this is happening....it can't be real!!


6 comments:

magusdee said...

I think about that sad fact a lot too, Linda. I've been sorting out books after my move, and every box or so, I'll think, "I know Z has read this one," and also, "If Z doesn't have this, I'm going to send it to him." It was a real treat, finding some treasure in a used bookstore and thinking, "Dr. Z needs this in his library," then sending it along to Paul, and I hope it again will be, some day soon. Give him a great big kiss from me and Baubles, the Boston terrier.
Anthony

BaileyZimmerman said...

Anthony,
Thank you for such wonderful sentiments....you are a true friend!
We think of you and Sir Baubles often!!

Jane said...

Thank you for your sweet comment. I think you have blessed me so much more.
Big hugs to you
Jane
xxx
(Posy)

Annette said...

I am sorry. For someone with a mind like a steel trap this is just very difficult. I know some days are easier than others. Hang in there!

Anonymous said...

Linda, can you imagine how it will be when he can talk? How much he will have to tell you? How much he will say he can't believe how much you've done for him? You are a goddess! It will come, have faith - sometimes that's all we have - with the NFL upon us maybe it will be a word, a play, a phrase - and it will all come rushing back - much love coming from Buckeye country! Cindy

Elizabeth said...

Linda, keep the faith - Paul will read and talk again! And like Cindy says, all the things he will have to tell you! I'm praying for you both.

Anthony, what a nice post.